Monday, May 12, 2008

Is R. Kelly responsible every time a 14-year-old is micturated upon in this fair city?

I'm not certain whether the R. Kelly trial constitutes news outside of the Chicago metropolitan area, but around here it commands front page headlines and top billing on the nightly news. In case you're not up to speed, Kelly has been indicted on 14 counts of soliciting a minor for child pornography and has retained the gentleman below as his legal counsel:


Now, don't get me wrong - I celebrate R. Kelly's entire catalogue. But when your defense attorney looks like an unholy cross between "the other Jeffrey Lebowski" and the Emperor from Star Wars, I have no choice but to question your innocence.

8 comments:

Alex P. Keaton said...

My advice is to do what your parents did; get a job, sir. The bums will always lose. Do you hear me, DZ?

Dan said...

Is this a - what day is this?

Sarah said...

Do you think R. Kelly knows the word micturated?

Amanda said...

"Where are the Kleenex?"

Unknown said...

I've thought about my comment for a little while, now... and I keep coming back to the fact that I have no respect for people like R. Kelly. But, I'm struggling to make that funny.

Unknown said...

By the way, I'm up because I have to go to Church and then jog and then do other good stuff.

Unknown said...

Has anyone ever listened to "Because" by The Beatles, on headphones, right before they went to Church and then jogged?

Derek Rury said...

Perhaps R. Kelly pee-ed on his rug? Word on the street is he has a problem